And excerpt #3 of the soon releasing Death Retires! For those who haven’t been following along, there are 2 other excerpts, if you’d like to give them a gander. Excerpt 1 and Excerpt 2. Also, see cover to the right. (Ooooh, aaaaaah….)
***Raw and unedited, just for you…Excerpt begins***
“Take me with you. Come on, you know you want to.” Clarence stalked in front of me as I prepared to head out the door.
<mild spoilers removed>
I needed Lilac’s help. She was the only person besides Clarence who I knew that might have a connection to the other side and also might have useful contacts. And she’d been willing to bump my appointment up for a nice little bonus.
Careful not to kick Clarence—much as the fluffy perv deserved it—I walked the remaining five feet to the garage door and grabbed my keys off the peg next to the door. “I looked up that public access thing.”
Did I hear the faint whistling tune of a guilty cat?
“What? It’s a thing, emotional support animals. I figure, you used to be death, so you probably have a lot of unresolved issues. Who better to utilize an emotional support cat than the guy who’s been death?” He waggled his non-existent eyebrows at me.
“One of the deaths, and don’t do that when other people are around. It looks really bizarre.”
“Don’t do what?” He plopped down on the stained concrete floor like it was a down bed, then sprawled out with an abandon my knees and back envied. Stretched out like that, he looked twice his size.
“Never mind. My point was that there’s no such thing as a public access cat.” I stepped over him, refusing to touch on the topic of my post-death-collector psychological needs. “A little research revealed some startling facts. For one, claiming that you’re an emotional support animal is probably some kind of federal crime.”
His voice took on a whiney pitch. “But I wanna go with you. I hate staying at the house all day long. It’s bo—ring. So boring. Dullsville.” He rolled onto his side, displaying his white fluffy underbelly as he clenched and unclenched his claws, kneading the air.
“And the cardinals in the back yard?” I eyed him critically. He knew I knew about those birds.
His whiskers twitched.
I’d seen him staring for half an hour or more the other day. “Hm?”
“Okay, except for Mr. and Mrs. Red, your place is the worst sort of dull. There’s not even any porn since you blocked all the good channels. No pay-per-view. No instant watch rentals of any kind. You suck.”
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